This post may contain affiliate links- to see my full disclosure statement, please click here.
I already know a larger portion of my Facebook friends and family are going to click to read this post.
“Does she know she’s writing about herself?”
“Did she finally recognize how irritating she is?”
“Does this mean she’s finally going to settle down?”
Yep, Yep, and Nope (for now).
I get it, when I first left almost seven months ago- most were really excited for me. And that got old, rather quickly. I mean, I’m still super hyped to be out here, but many of you are not. Somehow, travel turns people into self righteous assholes. I know this, because I am one, and I don’t care. Here’s all the reasons why and how I got to be this way.
Travel lets you see places that others probably haven’t seen yet, or know nothing about.
When you do make your way back home, people ask questions that seem really dumb to you, such as “So are the Montana mountains as big as Tennessee’s? “. Um, Montana mountains make Tennessee’s look like hills. Actually, southern Indiana’s rolling hills are just as good as Tennessee’s, why are they even called mountains? The only reason to go to Gatlinburg is because you love big tourist-y crowds, and stupid high taxes. Boom! Just like that, you’ve word vomited all over Tennessee, and then defecated on that person’s beloved Gatlinburg timeshare cabin for good measure. Well done, ya Self Righteous Prick.
Travel means you get some amazing photo opportunities.
Let’s post these great photos of Arches National Park and title it “Ugh, so blessed to be out here“. People will love to see that, right? *insert Donald Trump voice* “WRONG”. Yeah, a nearly identical picture is featured in their cubicle’s calendar for July. The same cubicle they visit every-flippin-day, and die a little inside, because they have student loans to pay off, and no vacation to be had. Good job, ya self Righteous Prick.
Travel means all your conversations revolve around your travels.
Your friend is talking how her newborn is finally sleeping through the night, but you can’t relate because you have no life other than sightseeing. “Well that’s good” you say, and then you let it fall awkwardly silent. She thinks that you think she’s boring. Congratulations, ya Self Righteous Prick.
Travel means that you’re gone all the time (duh), and you’re missing out on everything back home.
I want to be there with you for every birthday party, wedding, funeral, celebration, and high school band concert (okay, I lied about that last one). But I can’t. If I did come to all of those things, I’d be living stationary in my hometown, which is something I don’t want to do. Yeah, I don’t want to be home all the time, which obviously just means I think I’m better than everyone there. Well played, ya Self Righteous Prick.
Travel means you talk down on people.
You’re back home again, and someone actually asks about where you’ve been. You hand them your phone and let them swipe through the photos. They say “I wish I could travel like you do“. Here comes the word vomit. “Oh but you can!” stupid you chimes. “I even made an entire article about that! Look, you don’t even need money to travel, you just have to want it bad enough!” stupid you adds. Look, that person said that for one of two reasons.
- That person definitely doesn’t want to travel. If he did, he would. Saying “I wish I could travel” is him being polite and trying to opt out of the entire boring conversation.
- That person definitely does want to travel, but is in a totally different point in his life. “Just drop everything and go!” is easy to do you’re 20, debt free, childless, and newly married. It’s not easy when you don’t have someone to go with, you’ve got debts, children, a full time job, a sick parent, medical issues, and monstrous responsibilities.
Quit talking down on everyone, and quit assuming they “just don’t want it bad enough“, ya Self Righteous Prick.
For now, my entire life is looking at new places and making judgements about those places. I want to become a better person, and I want to be well traveled. I know that those two terms have no correlation, and I hope you know that I know that. Right now this is my entire life. This is something I want and love, but it’s not permanent. I know that. So if you’re wondering if I’m quitting the cheesy hashtags, the picture overloads, or the travel stories, that’s a no, for now.
Let’s talk about travel and travelers! What makes a traveler annoying? Are you that annoying person? What is the most overrated tourist attraction?
As always, thank you for reading!